Kelli's Migraine Daily

Migraines and Depression

As you guys have read, the last few months have been tough for me.  I've been seeing a therapist to help me learn how to cope with migraines properly (and some other stuff)... and to try to stop using food as my primary coping mechanism the way I've done for so many years.  I'm struggling though and have been spiraling for some time now.  We decided today that I need to go back on medication for the depression again... and I just can't help but be disappointed. 

I truly do know that it's a chemical imbalance as it was before because so many of the "symptoms" are the same.  Not sleeping well at night and then wanting to sleep during the day, crying a lot even when I'm having what I would normally consider a great day, letting the migraines and a recent knee injury really get me down when I know in time I'll be better, never waking up and being excited about my day.  I'm finding happiness in only a few things (my nieces and nephew and the time I get to spend with them mainly)... and it shouldn't have to be that way.  I have an incredible life... I am so blessed, and lucky.  It should not be such a struggle to try and be happy.  I have so much to be happy about, and I just can't let this continue any longer. 

I honestly can't say why I feel such disappointment.  It's not like I'm ashamed about it... or embarrassed that I struggle with depression.  I suppose I'm just disappointed that I've been through this before and really thought I would catch the signs quickly enough that I could do something about it and not have to take medication.  But, what did I think I was going to do?  Eat better... exercise more... force myself to be happy?  That's silly... by the time I have the symptoms, I'm not mentally capable of helping myself... so I just let it get worse and worse.   

I'm grateful that I now know enough to seek out professional help... then I know I have an objective eye that can tell me when things aren't normal.  The first time around, I put my parents through so much before I agreed to get help.  This time, I've decided to just work with my therapist and let my family know that I'm being taken care of and they do not need to worry.

I would venture a guess that many of you reading this have gone through the same struggles.  I've read many times that there is a clear link between migraine and depression. I was doing some reading today to try and help myself feel better and came across this information...

"Doctors from the Albert Einstein College of Medicine in New York examined the health history of 768 people, half of whom suffered from migraines.

They found that 47% of those with migraine also experienced bouts of depression.

This compared to just 17% of those who do not suffer from severe headaches.

Their research, which looked at patients in both the US and UK, found that while migraine and depression are linked, they have independent causes.

Dr Richard Lipton, from the Albert Einstein College of Medicine, said:

"It seems logical migraine patients would be depressed because of their pain.  But it goes the other way too - depressed patients are more likely to have migraine. We think the two disorders must have a common neurobiology."

- Read the full article

So, I've decided to do my best to go to bed each night believing that better days are coming. 

Thanks to all of you for listening (well, reading) and for your emails.  I am sometimes not able to reply to everyone... but I do read every email and appreciate you all so much.

Best, Kelli  :)

Bad Migraines This Month - Increasing my Imitrex Dosage

Hi everybody,

Well, since my last post, I have to say this has been one of my toughest months in quite a few years in terms of migraine pain and frequency.  I wouldn't say they've been daily, but right now, every day that I wake up with no pain is a day I am feeling really grateful.

I hardly ever get frustrated with the fact that I have migraines.  I feel like I've really learned how to cope and how to understand that almost everyone has a physical malady they deal with.  Migraines is just my personal malady. 

But, even when I can talk myself out of feeling sorry for myself intellectually, it doesn't remove the emotional pain that I feel after having headaches that last for days on end.  It just wears me down and I end up crying on the phone to anyone who might call me that day.  I cried when I was talking to a client the other day and just felt like an idiot.  Luckily, she's someone I know well and have a great relationship with... but it's still kind of embarrassing that I was so worn down by the pain that I couldn't control my emotions.

And I cried again that night when none of my medicines would work and I had to cancel plans on one of my friends... again.  Sometimes I can still go out... but recently, I've been having such bad motion sickness associated with the migraines that I don't feel like it's safe for me to drive. 

I think I posted before about the connection between kids that have motion sickness and their propensity to develop migraines later in life.  I was fascinated by that because I was always one of those kids that didn't do well on long distance drives.  I could never read or play those counting cars games... I would just have to listen to my music in headphones and try to sleep as much as possible.  I found that all pretty interesting when I first saw an article connecting motion sickness with migraines.  It makes sense from the whole vascular angle.

To the point of my subject line... I thought I would post that I tried taking a 100mg dose of my Imitrex the other day instead of my normal 50mg pill... and it seemed to work quite a bit better.  These past few months, I've had so many headaches that my Imitrex (the 50mg pills and also the shots) just can't seem to touch.  I had received a few samples from my doctor of the 100mg, but hadn't tried them.  It seems like it helped to up the dosage.

That's all for now.  I hope you all are doing well.  I'm anxiously waiting for the cooler weather.  We've had 2 cool days in a row... and no surprise to me, no headaches! YEA!

Kelli  :)